I want a divorce from my husband.

I want a divorce from my husband. Is that a good thing to do?

How do I go about it? Am I sinful for thinking this? Do I have to stay with him for 3 months? Do I give back my dowry (Mahr)?

Khul’a (الخلع) is the legal Islamic term for a woman requesting and getting a divorce from her husband. This is different than a divorce initiated by the husband, known as Talaq (الطلاق).

Abdullah ibn Abbas narrates that the wife of Thabit b. Qais got a divorce (Khul’a). So the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) commanded her to wait for one menstrual cycle before remarrying. This incident is reported authentically by many scholars including Tirmidhi.

Rabi bint Muawwiz (female companion) got a divorce (Khul’a) from her husband in the time of Uthman. Rabi’s uncle asked Uthman, “Can she leave her husband’s house immediately?”

Uthman replied, “Yes she must. There’s no inheritance between them (i.e. divorce is done). She must wait one menstrual period before remarrying to ensure that she isn’t pregnant.”

From these two incidents (along with the backing of major scholars of the companions like Uthman, Abdullah b. Umar and other later scholars such as Ishaq b. Rahawai, Imam Ahmad, ibn Taymiyyah, etc.) it’s clear that:

  1. A woman can request and get a divorce Islamically (Khul’a) as this was done by at least two female companions. There’s nothing wrong or sinful about it.
  2. The divorce is settled between the husband and the wife. So the wife asks for it and the husband agrees to it…and that’s it. There’s no “Islamic” paperwork. However, in the West, marriage and divorce should always be filed at city hall to ensure the correct legal status.|
  3. The divorce becomes final immediately, so the woman can leave the husband and move on. This is clear from Uthman’s verdict. This is especially important for women who have been abused. I’ve heard imams forcing abused women to stay with their husbands for 3 months to finalize the divorce!! That’s adding to the pain completely unnecessarily.
  4. The waiting period before remarrying is only one month for Khul’a. This is great as it allows a woman to quickly move on with her life, as she should.
  5. The financial terms of the Khul’a are open (if needed). As long as both agree to it, the divorce becomes final. There’s no requirement for the woman to give back her dowry (Mahr) as that is her right. If she chooses to and they agree, that’s acceptable.
  6. Is divorce a good thing? That is not a fiqh question. That totally depends on your circumstances.

Allah knows best.

Advertisements

Khutbah – The Major Sins

What’s the clearest path to Jannah?

إِن تَجْتَنِبُوا كَبَائِرَ مَا تُنْهَوْنَ عَنْهُ نُكَفِّرْ عَنكُمْ سَيِّئَاتِكُمْ وَنُدْخِلْكُم مُّدْخَلًا كَرِيمًا

“If you avoid the major sins which you are forbidden, We will remove from you your lesser sins and admit you to a noble entrance [into Paradise].” [4:31]

A short discussion on the meaning of this ayah:

Click here to download

Be Good, Even to Those Who Aren’t Good to You

أَدِّ الأَمَانَةَ إِلَى مَنِ ائْتَمَنَكَ ، وَلا تَخُنْ مَنْ خَانَكَ

“Fulfill your promise towards the one who entrusted you, but don’t betray the one who betrayed you.” – Prophet ‪#‎Muhammad‬

Some brief thoughts on this hadith:

– Hadith is narrated by Abu Huraira, reported in AlJami, authenticated by Sh Al-Albani
– Good treatment extends to all, especially if they are good to you
– True mark of character is to extend good treatment towards the one who is hostile towards you
– Fulfillment of promises is a hallmark of the believer, whereas betrayal is the hallmark of the hypocrite

The Value of Sabr

The translations for the Ayaat are taken primarily from M. A. S. ABDEL HALEEM’s translation with some changes and noted exceptions.

Immeasurable Payment

Zumar_10

Zumar:10

Those who persevere patiently will be given their reward in full without measure.

Key to Victory/Success in Dunya

Sajdah_24

Sajdah:24

When they [the children of Israel] became steadfast and believed firmly in Our messages, We raised leaders among them, guiding them according to Our command.

Araaf_137

Araaf:137

We made those who had been oppressed succeed to both the east and the west of the land that We had blessed. Your Lord’s good promise to the Children of Israel was fulfilled, because of their patience, and We destroyed what Pharaoh and his people were making and what they were building.

Aali_Imraan_120

Aali_Imraan:120

They grieve at any good that befalls you [believers] and rejoice at your misfortunes. But if you are steadfast and conscious of God, their scheming will not harm you in the least: God encircles everything they do.

Key Reason for the Jazaa and Rewards of Jannah

Yusuf_90

Yusuf:90

Surely whoever is pious and (endures) patiently, then surely Allah does not waste the reward of the fair-doers [Dr.Ghali]

Muminoon_111

Muminoon:111

Today I have rewarded them for their patience: it is they who will succeed.

Furqan_75

Furqan:75

These servants will be rewarded with the highest place in Paradise for their steadfastness.

Qasas_54

Qasas:54

They will be given their rewards twice over because they are steadfast, repel evil with good, and give to others out of what We have provided for them.

Insan_12

Insan:12

and we reward them, for their steadfastness, with a Garden and silken robes.

The Reason for Peace/Safety and Congratulations from the Malaaikah

Rad_19-24

Rad:19-24

Can someone who knows that the revelation from your Lord is the Truth be equal to someone who is blind? Only those with understanding will take it to heart;  those who fulfill the agreements they make in God’s name and do not break their pledges; who join together what God commands to be joined; who are in awe of their Lord and fear the harshness of the Reckoning; who remain steadfast through their desire for the face of their Lord; who keep up the prayer; who give secretly and openly from what We have provided for them; who repel evil with good. These will have the reward of the [true] home: they will enter perpetual Gardens, along with their righteous ancestors, spouses, and descendants; the angels will go in to them from every gate,  ‘Peace be with you, because you have remained steadfast. What an excellent reward is this home of yours!’

A Small Price to Pay

From Ibn Rajab (Fadl ‘Ilm al-Salaf ‘Alaa al-Khalaf):

It is necessary that the believer have patience for a short while such that through it he will attain everlasting bliss. If he despairs and becomes impatient, he is as ibn al-Mubaarak said,

Ibn_Mubarakk_Quote
Whoever is patient, then how little is he patient for. And whoever is impatient, then how little does he enjoy himself.”

Al-Imaam ash-Shaafi’ee used to recite the following lines of poetry,

Imam_Shafie_Poetry
O my soul! It is nothing but a few days of patience;
It’s duration is like muddled/jumbled dreams.
O my soul! Pass through the world quickly;
And leave it alone, for the (true) life is certainly ahead of me.

Allah’s Common Surah Ending Command

Room_60

Room:60

so be patient, for God’s promise is true: do not let those with no firm beliefs discourage you.

Ahqaf_35

Ahqaf:35

Be steadfast [Muhammad], like those messengers of firm resolve. Do not seek to hasten the punishment for the disbelievers: on the Day they see what they had been warned about, it will seem to them that they lingered no more than a single hour of a single day [in this life]. This is a warning. Shall any be destroyed except the defiant?

Aali_Imraan_200

Aali_Imraan:200

You who believe, be steadfast, more steadfast than others; be ready; always be mindful of God, so that you may prosper.

Reflections for a Master’s Student at MEDIU

Advice by Abu Ibrahim, a master’s student at MEDIU. The original comment can be found here.

Having completed my first term at MEDIU on the master’s program I thought I would share some information for the benefit of prospective master’s students. The information provided on the university website unfortunately does not give a clear picture as to what the student should expect.

Firstly, the student has to choose either full-time or part-time mode of study. The full-time option involves enrollment on 4 or 5 units, whilst the part-time option means registering on 2 or 3 units. Each unit comprises a 5,000 word research paper, two short assignments (typically one or two pages in length) and the mid-term and final exams. In theory it is possible to complete the program within two years; however the constraining factor for most students will be the research paper which takes considerable time and effort to research and write. There are also four live lectures the student must attend to be eligible to enter the exams. The lectures essentially involve the instructor summarizing /reading verbatim one or more lessons and do not really have much impact on exam performance and attendance is more just an administrative requirement.

The master’s program differs from the bachelors program in a number of respects; there are no power-point style summaries of the course texts meaning that the onus is on the student to produce his own concise summary for revision purposes (with the exception of Manhjul Bahth). Each text consists of about 500 pages, so high level study skills are needed to sort the wheat from the chaff. Also another key difference is that both the mid-term and final exam includes written questions, alongside the usual multiple choice questions, which account for around 40% of the score. To score at the highest levels in the examinations a very detailed study of the text is needed (as some of the questions are looking for obscure detail), but for those wishing to gain the qualification with a good result, a solid, general understanding of each and every chapter (from my experience at least) should suffice.

My advice to prospective master’s students is to start the research papers as early in the term as possible, once the selected title(s) have been posted, to avoid unnecessary stress later on down the line. It is also advisable to use the period before term begins to start reading and summarizing the course texts; the texts are freely available on the university’s website. I believe that with a strategic approach it is possible to complete the masters in a short period of time with a good result inshallah.